If you are the kind of person that gets angry regularly, that tells you much about you. If you are often sad or melancholy, same thing. If you are basically a happy person, same thing.

However, often one emotion “masks” another, so we might walk around appearing, even believing, we are happy for example, but it might be hiding a deep sadness.

Clowns know this. Any truly great comedy has a tragedy at its root. Laugh or cry, those are our two choices when faced with life. Clowns get us to laugh about the pain in our lives. Look at Jim Carey’s movies, for example: The Truman Show. It is very funny, but the story is tragic. Laugh or cry.

So underneath it all, that emotional map, does it control us, or guide us out of our personal woods to fields of joy? So what emotions control you? What feelings do you avoid? Even avoiding emotion is a form of control, the emotion we seek when we do that is called “numbness”. It is often a blanket of emotional concrete covering a raging fire of emotions.

For better or worse, the only way  I’ve seen that works to really grow into the person you truly are, is to look within and loosen the knots of the heart. Emotions are not good or bad, they are our inner guidance system. It’s up to us to learn to use the tools Life has given us.

There is slow boiling anger, like hot lava from a volcano. There is the anger that comes like a sudden storm and destroys whatever is in its path.

Then there is anger like acid rain, that slowly drop by drop eats away at us.

I’m sure you can come up with different anger types on your own.

The thing to remember about anger we are usually angry at something, because of something.

Think about it for a moment. Think back to when you were last angry. Weren’t you angry at a situation, person, perhaps yourself or another, an event? Wasn’t the anger about a value or belief you had that was challenged or broken? Either trust, expectation, self-esteem or something like that?

If you look beneath the surface of that anger, beyond the surface reason you were angry, was there another person you were angry with? Very often it’s us. When we are angry at others we are often angry at ourselves too. For being such a fool, for trusting that person, for believing them, or for the injustice of the situation. Whatever it is.

Anger is a fantastic tool then- it allows us to clearly without any doubt see what we feel about ourselves. We then know exactly what to clear, what hot buttons to release, what we truly believe about the world.

So next time you get angry, bless it, since it is guiding you to deepen and expand yourself. But only if you take action and learn the lessons anger wants to teach you. If you run away, you’ll just end up doing it again.

The trick, however, is to BE the person inside, not just thinking it, or even believing it, but living that reality as a fundamental fact of your world.

How do we do this, crazy as it sounds? The answer is surprisingly simple, we already are that and far more. It is our negative emotional beliefs about ourselves and the world that stop us from seeing it.

Clear those and the real, deep, true you will naturally shine forth.

Having upset some readers, let me explain why. Because often when we start our journey of personal growth we are looking for something extra, something we want to be, which we believe is “outside” us in some way.

Either it is something in our personality we want to add or remove, or it is an experience we wish to move away from or towards. Or even people we want to become or not be like.

This has it all arsy-versy or inside out. The truth is WE already are the very best in us, we’re simply not letting ourselves see it, feel it, believe it and even less be it.

The journey then is different, it is more a process of unlearning and releasing ideas and beliefs rather than adding new ones. of course, a few new techniques and skills help to learn to drop the old. That is what this site is dedicated to.

Now your other choice, is be trained as an architect and be paid only $70,000 a year for 8 hours a day,  for the rest of your life. You get to be involved with every new project and work in exotic locations, but you still only bank in $70,000 a year.

Which would you choose? Does the 100K look tempting or the $70K. Why? One is a life of dull, routine boring security and the other is a life of creativity, meaning and challenge but for less.

I guess most people would say the 100K looks pretty damn good, especially in the midst
of a financial crisis. But really is that true?

The smart guy in the back is saying, “well, I’d sign up for the toll booth thing, live cheap and invest the rest of the money and retire early”. Sorry, can’t do that, you must work in the job for at least 15 years.

That’s not fair! You say, you did not say that up front! Maybe you want to change your choice? Well, life can also be like that, either we don’t read the fine print or simply things change.

Who said life was fair anyway? It certainly does not come tatooed on a baby’s backside. A life of meaning is far more fulfilling than one without. Would you agree?

The choices we make in our head every day determine what kind of life we are going to have tomorrow and the day after. Our mindset and attitude are the only thing we have absolute control over yet most of us neglect learning how to develop this critical, vital side of us.

So we carry acres and acres of junk in our head. The Power of Simplicity is about releasing the junk and allowing us to lead richer, more fulfilled lives.

And yet… and yet… How much juice would life have if all we have is resentment and bitterness? If you want to see the value of forgiveness in your life and how powerfully it can transform you, try this following exercise:

Think of someone who has hurt, perhaps badly. As much as you feel safe to do so, feel the feelings that this person makes you feel (angry, resentful, hurt, afraid, abused, what ever it is)

Now, simply allow yourself to welcome that feeling. yes, welcome it. After all, you’re feeling it anyway now, right? So what difference is there if you welcome the feeling? This does not mean you have accept or condone what was done to you. Simply welcome the feeling. OK so far?

Next, ask yourself this question: “Could I let go of this feeling?” Whether you answer Yes or No, is not that important, as long as you are being honest with yourself.

Next, even if you answered No above, ask yourself, “Would I let go of this feeling?” Again, Yes or No. No dithering, maybes, or becauses are allowed.

Lastly, ask yourself “When?” When would allow yourself to let go of that feeling of hurt? Now, how do you feel? A bit lighter perhaps? If you do, you’ve just put the power of forgiveness to work for you.

I can think of no better authority on the power of forgiveness than Nelson Mandela, and this is what he said about forgiveness:

“When you forgive, fear has no power over you, that is the power of forgiveness”

Nelson Mandela

If you want to have a life of brilliance and joy, it starts with creating that world “inside” now. In India there are millions of people who have pretty much nothing. Lots and lots of nothing. No food, no water, no clothes and no prospects. Your life in comparison, no matter how hard it may be, is a paradise compared to that.

Yet, many of those millions smile easily and happily. It is not because they are smoking something you are not, it is simply that you and they have made different choices about how to deal with life’s adversities.

The difference is that when we grateful we are more open to something good happening,  rather than just griping about the mortgage not being paid or whatever the problem is. We create a vibration that the universe responds to. It responds to all our vibrations, so let’s choose the good ones.

In Lynn McTaggart’s amazing book “The Intention Experiment” she explains that science is finding that our intention affects the world around us in a measurable and provable manner. It all boils down to coherent emotion. The best way to develop coherent emotion to start creating the world we desire, is gratitude.

It creates a space within us for more beauty and joy. Doesn’t that sound a whole lot better than whining and moaning? The moaning will only give you more things to moan about, but the gratitude will bring you more things to be grateful for.

Try this exercise for a week and see how you feel: write down every evening 10 things you are grateful for during the day, they can be as “small” as you liked the sun shining on your face, to as large as you want. If you find it tough to come up with 10 things, then that says something already doesn’t it?

I’m grateful you’ve read this and for every day of my life and all my challenges and problems that teach me so much and how to be a bigger, better version of me.

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.”

Doris Day

This ability to be centered in being our true self will carry us through the bad times and allow us to fully enjoy the good. If you want to really take control of your life and find and live your dreams

We all have an opinion about ourselves. Yes, that one, the secret, deep down in your heart one that you don’t tell anyone about.

Maybe if you ignore it, it will go away. Maybe its a deep pessimism that things never work out, but on the surface you may look like the most positive and happy person.

How do you know what your pattern is? Especially if you think we don’t have one? Look at the trails it leaves through your life. Things, situations or types of people that crop up time and again.

Or even things we run from are patterns too.

Goodness, its great to have radar isn’t it? We’re not flying blind after all.

But what is happiness? Some consider it to be winning the lottery, indulging in our favorite desserts, marrying the love of our life, witnessing the birth of a child, or even that new car or house you’ve been craving for. But neuroscientists, psychologists, economists and even Buddhist monks think otherwise. Scientifically and philosophically, happiness is about living a meaningful life in which a person can utilize his/her gifts and time to living with thought and purpose. They’ve agreed that it’s more to depth, satisfaction and contentment rather than “bursting-with-glee”.

As we develop and strengthen our identities, the pursuit of happiness becomes a rather integral part of personal growth. The following are 5 tips to help boost your happiness levels up several notches:

1. Create healthy personal relationships. Happiness has been shown to be maximized when you feel that you are a part of a community. A positive psychology professor, Chris Peterson, says that making strong personal relationships is a crucial component of happiness. Strong relationships with parents, friends or spouses act as buffers against the effects of the inevitable downfalls and setbacks life throws in our path. So, right now, call up a friend and make a lunch date just to catch up, set aside some time each week for your family or take your loved one out for a romantic dinner. Just setting the foundation for spending time with people that matter to you is enough to make your heart feel lighter.

2. Occupy yourself with an activity. An idle mind is the devil’s playground. But it also sets the foundation for depression and dissatisfaction. The actions that we take to achieve our goals easily makes us happy. And research has shown that it’s not achieving goals or crossing that finish line that is most rewarding to our well-being. Alternatively, it’s our focus on making the most of the present that truly enriches our lives. So find a hobby. It can be signing up for dance classes, learning to cook, or even volunteering at the nearby shelter. There are endless possibilities of something to do if we make the effort to look. Activities and goals don’t just activate positive feelings within us, but also act as protective factors against negative emotions.

3. Perform a random act of kindness. Say “Hi” to the girl at the checkout counter, lend your neighbor a hand, or even shoot an email containing some useful information to your colleague. When you do good, you usually feel good – and this really works. Our feelings are often a direct effect of our actions. When you bring happiness to others, it reflects internally as well.

4. Exercise. Numerous research has shown that exercise promotes the release of endorphins and many other neurotransmitters that our brains thrive on to make us feel good. Exercise is also extremely cathartic and it helps us “sweat out” our negative emotions and thoughts. So go for a run, a hike or sign up for some dance and yoga classes right now and watch as the amazing effects of exercise elevate your personal well-being.

5. Do the gratitude dance. Unfortunately, many of us place a disproportionate amount of our attention on the negative happenings of the day. The amount of time we spend reflecting on our successes and positives is surprisingly dismal. we need to strike a healthy balance in allocating our personal awareness. While its important to be aware of the bad so that we can actively correct it, reflecting on the good is almost as, if not more, important. So make gratitude reflection a daily exercise. You’ll find that consistent awareness placed on voicing gratitude daily will affect your emotional happiness extremely positively.

It’s important for us to remember that we’re responsible for our own happiness and personal growth.  Dependency on external factors for happiness may offer only temporary mood boosts. In the long run, its internal reprogramming of ourselves and what we choose to perceive that makes a true difference.

In spite of all that, we should not expect ourselves to be happy ALL the time. Instead, we should embrace the broad spectrum of human emotions that we’ve been gifted with and not fear, nor be embarrassed by them. Humans are remarkably adaptable creatures and happiness is not forever elusive. By fixing our internal default level of happiness, we’re helping ourselves bounce back much easier whenever we’re faced with personal setbacks.